Jaynellemoe’s Weblog

Perhaps I saw it coming and that’s why I’ve been in an especially weird funk lately. Perhaps my mind sort of knew that something unpleasant must have happened since (till this evening) I still hadn’t received my last letter even though its close to May already. My mind subconsciously started yearning for some form of mourning, and yesterday, I got some mopey Mariah Carey songs to tide over that strange numbness I was feeling…even though I really had no clue why I was feeling so down, especially since the prior days were spent being overly enthusiastic about life in general.

So, today marks the end of my journey on the US undergrad road of complete and utter depression. I would love to say it was a journey with ups and downs, but to be honest, the only joy I can remember having had through that entire experience was from my misguided and foolhardy obsession with a school completely out of my league. Pathetic, no, that the one moment of clarity I’ve had in my 17 ( almost 18 ) years resulted from illusions of grandeur and silly confidence?

Anyway, good bye shoddy path of potholes and tripwire! I won’t be missing you.

Apparently there’s only about eleven more days of actual school before school’s out. I remember counting the days a few months back, thinking it would never come, and actually trying to will the days to go by faster.

Strangely, after hearing Boyce’s endless talk about exam preparation, it really hit me that in 11 days, in just 11 measly days, we’ll have to take our things out of our lockers for the last time, we’ll be sitting in that cramped common room for the last time, and listening to that god-awful, yet strangely endearing sound of those plastic mahjong tiles for the last time.

Humans are creatures of habit, and going to CIS has become a habit of mine – 7 years in the making.

I never thought I would or could feel this sad after all the whingeing I’ve done, but I actually do.

my masterpiece: a drooling, sleepy face on James’ econ notes

I guess I just wanted to write this whilst the feelings are still fresh, because, knowing me, I doubt they’ll be lasting much longer.